I have found a new counselor and new best friend all wrapped into one portable rectangle of relief:
The Strong Willed Child, By Dobson.
Don't know what I'll be saying by the end of it, but at 50 pages in, it is such a breath of fresh air. So comforting to read stories from other mommies, and to know that what I am going through is challenging but normal.
This is the first time in months I haven't felt like a total failure in my parenting. Such a great perspective change: this is my God given assignment and the Lord is going to help me fulfill it. It is not a curse. I am not failing. Well, lets be honest, we are all failing. But its great to realize I'm not failing anymore than everyone around me!!!
Don't know why I'm the one who needed to receive a child with a will stronger than most, but apparently the Lord has a purpose.
Getting myself prepped for what seems like a long hard journey, but with a new hope in mind. Just like in childbirth, there is a purpose to this pain. She will be great. All I am asked is to keep on doing what I'm doing, being obedient to the Lord myself. She makes for a challenging child, but she will be an immeasurable asset to the kingdom someday.
I think someday I will look back at this all and wonder why I got to be the lucky one to have a child like her.
The challenge now, to see her as an asset today.
hahahaha I am reading this too!!!! Just started last night.
ReplyDeleteThe question, when did you know your child was strong willed?
At birth- he was stubborn coming out and fought sleep the moment he was born! Our pediatrician couldn't believe at 4 days old he had his eyes open the entire time in the office. He still fights sleep to this day among other things- diaper changes, clothes, food, etc. AGH!
But I love him and I work 7 times harder than other parents of compliant children :)
P.S. I responded below. When I say 'thats awesome' I meant its awesome your reading the book, not awesome that you're going through this. lol!
DeleteThats awesome!!!!! We knew with Auryn day 2 of life. But really, I think we've been denying it until now. I think we've always known she was strong willed, but now we know she is STRONG WILLED. I think for so long I have felt like I am doing something wrong to make her this way, but feel like the Lord has been showing me so much lately that HE made her this way. I am confident at the 'end' of this road we will say that it was a blessing, but right now IT IS HARD!!!!! You're right, we do work AT LEAST 7 times harder than parents of complaint children. I would know, I have a complaint child too! She is SO SO easy, and big sis is SO SO hard. It honestly takes 7-10 times more effort to parent her than it does my youngest. Thank you SO SO much for sharing this with me. I have felt SO alone out here in all of this, and its just great to know that I'm not. This is really hard, unless you go through this personally it is very hard to understand. I feel like when I try to explain it to people I just get the smile and nod, and I'm sure their thinking I'm slacking off, but I swear I AM NOT!!!!! AHHHHH!!!!! So good to hear a little of your story. I'm sure its a conversation I'll want to keep open with you as time goes on.
ReplyDelete