This Is Why.

There are two things I know for sure about myself, only because I have been told them weekly throughout my entire life.

1)  I am a good writer.

2)  I am an open book.

I am also a mother.  How could I not have a blog about motherhood.  A real, honest to goodness look at motherhood for me.

I am also realizing that although I do love being a mother, I do not enjoy being a stay at home mom.  Because of many circumstances in my life, and personality flaws in myself, there is no workable solution for my occupational diress.  Therefore, I force myself out of bed, every single morning, and work, nonstop, until I fall into bed at night, and then upon opening my eyes, it starts all over again.  Torture, I know.

I wish I was different.  I wish I was like all of the mothers I see around me, so fufilled and almost giddy to be stay at home moms.  But, I have tried and failed.  This is not me.  I pray that some day it might be.  But today, on July 12, 2012, it is not me.  Nor has it been me for the 4 years preceding this date.  I hate being a stay at home mom.  It feels like an uphill battle most days.

And this is why.....