Myth of The Mansion.

I live in a mansion.

Ok, not really.  But to me, it's a pretty huge house.  Our house is 2,500 square feet (last I heard), that is 2,500 square feet of livable space.

Here is the rundown:
1 master bedroom
4 decent size bedrooms
5 bathrooms
2 good size living rooms
1 large dining room (playroom for us)
1 stair case
1 huge kitchen
1 good size mudroom/laundry room
a few hallways
and a large middle area we call the foyer (we use it as a sitting area)

In addition to this, we have a medium front yard, a small back yard, a large back porch, and two gardens.

Let me tell you folks, it is ALOT ALOT ALOT to take care of.

When both my husband and I worked, it was not biggie.  I would clean it once a week, straighten it twice a week, and it looked almost perfect most days.  Why?  IT WAS SITTING THERE EMPTY 40 PLUS HOURS A WEEK!!!!!!  And the other hours of the week, when people were in it, they were always adults.  Adults clean up after themselves.

When I had just one kid, I could still keep a pretty good routine of housekeeping.  My standards had to drop a ton, but I could definitely keep up.  My one kid would be easily distracted by toys, movies, naps, independent playtimes, daddy, or watching me clean, and I could still get alot done.

When number two arrived, things changed a little bit.  It helped that this little bundle took several long naps a day, so at first it wasn't a huge adjustment.

But now, number 2 is just as much of a kiddo as number 1, and they are both making sure I have my work cut out for me.

Then there is the dog, oh the dog.  Dog hair.  Need I say more.

So my perfectly clean house that used to sit totally empty for 40 hours a week, now has a zoo living in it everyday.  From the big girl, to the little girl, to the doggie, and don't forget the pregnant mommy, we are ALL making messes nonstop.

Add pregnancy in, and its all over.  My two hour window, where chores used to get done with two active kiddos around, has now disappeared.  My husband many times works the night shift (like this entire work week he works 12-9 pm), so this means my goal for the day is reserving energy in order to make it through the crazy hours, from 5-8 pm, alone.  I cannot possible express my distaste for spending this 3 hours alone most days.  I would much rather my man work 5 am to 5 pm, if he could be home from 5-8.  It is a sick sick joke, those hours.  The kids go into crazy mode, and I go into tired mode, at the same time.  I am stuck cooking dinner alone, while trying to manage them, which means they are off destroying any cleaning I did that day.  Then right after we eat, my tired very pregnant body is ready for bed, and they are ready to bounce off of the walls.  Torture.  So now, my two hour window a day, when the kids are in their quiet times, is used for resting.  This usually means reading a parenting book, and just praying I don't fall asleep.  Naps for me bring back the morning sickness.  Another cruel joke.

Life has made the ultimate switch folks.  We used to use the weekdays for getting chores done, and the weekends for relaxing and having family fun.  But now, the weekdays are for survival, and the weekends have become totally full of chores and projects, with the occasional family time here or there.

It sucks.  Weekends that are supposed to be used for relaxing are becoming busier and busier.

Take today, for instance.  Its our friday, and we have a TON of house work today.  There is dog hair absolutely everywhere.  The toilets are getting rings, and the floors are a sticky mess.  In my stupidity I thought it would be fine to use part of the kids quiet time to get a head start on the weekend chores, therefore saving my man from part of the work, but that was a huge mistake.  I made it one hour, and then piled on the floor in a heap of tears.  Defeat.  Failure.  Overwhelming exhaustion.

I've been googling to try to find ways of how to make this balance of chores and motherhood an easier one for me, and guess what answer I always run into?  Hire a nanny/housekeeper.  LOL!!!!!!!!!  They obviously don't live in reality folks.  Believe me, if that was at all possible, I'd have hired help.  But that doesn't exist for me, at all.

Its days like today, where I cry so much in defeat that I question the wisdom in putting on eye makeup that morning, that I just want to SIMPLIFY!!!!!!!!!!!

Today, I want a small house.  1,500 square feet sounds good.  3 bedrooms, 1.5 bathrooms.  1 living room, a small area for a playroom, an eat in kitchen.......  Something easy to keep clean.  I also want  a husband who works monday through friday 8-5.  I want a simple, boring, life.

If you are reading this, and you have found the ultimate solution for balancing your roles as mother and housekeeper during the day, please, do tell.  I need your wisdom.  How do I ever keep up with the endless crumbs, puddles of milk, dog hair bunnies everywhere, a minefield of toys, and don't even mention the laundry.

I read once that the best way to protect a marriage is to enjoy it.  Have fun with your spouse.  Is that the best way to protect a mother/child relationship too?  To enjoy it?

Really, how, in the midst of the endless work, am I supposed to take time to do that.

I can't even breathe.